It seems too easy to find yourself in the eye of the storm. And this past month, I have truly experienced a life tornado challenging me to find and keep my center over and over again.
What can we do to stay sane, grounded and whole in the face of life's tornado forces? Read on.
1. Create a daily meditation practice for grounding. Before I start each day, and often before I wind down for bed, I take some space to meditate and go inside to give room for my deeper feelings, relax my mind, and connect with the still silent place inside from which my inner guidance arises. There are many ways to meditate, and sitting on a cushion with your legs crossed is just one of them. Lying in my bed for 15 - 30 minutes after I have first woken up provides a natural meditative space. Going inward as I exercise on the cross trainer at the gym gives me another meditative opportunity and space. Sitting outside while the weather is still nice and closing your eyes can provide another meditative environment. Taking a walk. Cooking mindfully. Find what works for you and incorporate it into your day.
2. Check in with your body and heart as you go through your day. It is too easy to get on a timeline and proceed methodically from one appointment to another without taking time out to tune in. If you are under high stress, even a 5 minute time out to close your eyes and take some deep breathes can create more spaciousness and grounding. Your body and heart most always have messages to give you about what pace to go at, what is most important and what you need for self-care, if you take the time to listen.
3. Be gentle and compassionate with your overwhelmed parts. When I get overwhelmed, I might have one of several responses. I might go numb because there is just plain too much for me to emotionally process. I might feel really sad, because something just crossed a line and I can no longer contain myself. I might get angry because I feel like I have lost the very inner peace I work so hard to cultivate and maintain. I don't like lose my grounding. I don't like feeling over my limit. But no matter how hard I work at self-care, I am human and sometimes too many pieces stack all at once. If I can bring compassion to my overwhelmed self, there is more space for my humanity--and yours.
4. Find a way to express your overwhelm, including feelings of sadness, anger and numbness. If I can find words to express what I am feeling, I can come back to my center. Sometimes I need to talk to someone I trust. Other times my journal or even typing into my computer is enough. Physical movement might be necessary. Or even writing or listening to a song. Painting or drawing might be an expressive pathway. Learn what expressive pathways work for you and them utilize them regularly!
5. If everything feels like just too much, be kind to yourself and let yourself feel the too muchness. Today, after a period of great stress and unexpected and unwelcome changes in many life arenas all at once, I hit a breaking point. Something happened that blew open the container of inner spaciousness I work so hard to maintain. And emotionally, I "lost it." My heart, spirit and mind all said, "I can't take anymore. This is all too much." I felt alone, my head spinning from the litany of "punches" my heart and spirit had absorbed in rapid succession, without the time and space I needed to seek support and process them. What had happened was just too much--internally and externally. But I could still be kind to myself. And I very much needed to step away, slow down, cry and feel the too muchness.
6. Learn when to reach out for connection and when to go deeper inside for grounding. If I reach out when I really need to go inside or if I go inside when I really need to reach out, I will not feel better, supported or more grounded. Being able to reach inside and reach out are both important skills. And the wisdom to know which one will be most supportive at any point in time takes time to develop.
7. Pray for things to get better. I do believe that if I hit a limit and reach out spiritually and ask for things to get better, it makes a difference. How and where we direct our consciousness and our heart energy, in time, DOES make things better. There will always be the things we can't control (like random mass shootings or corruption in government), but our self-care is something we can become more and more skilled at.
Self-care, emotional and spiritual grounding, self-expression and seeking support are all critical behaviors in ordinary life, but when we need to find our center in the eye of the storm, they are anchors, and life preservers.
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