Bringing the Catatonic Chicken Back to Life: The Power of Compassionate, Heartfelt Presence

The ways professors choose to illustrate big concepts during college psychology classes can be rather dramatic. And in one of my big lecture freshman psychology classes, a demonstration made a lifelong impression on me. What I learned is NOT what the professor intended to teach me. However, what I learned went far beyond my mind, penetrating my heart and soul.

I think the concept the professor was trying to illustrate was "learned helplessness." For many years, I could not remember this because of the impact of the "demonstration." The professor began by bringing a young chicken into the classroom, and placed him on top of the marble slab at the front of the classroom, attaching an electrode to the chicken's head.

He then proceeded to zap the unsuspecting chicken with an electric current. The chicken started to shake all over. His eyes started to get really big. And before the chicken had a chance to acclimate to what was going on, the professor zapped him again and again until the chicken froze.

5 minutes went by and the chicken was still frozen. 10 minutes went by and the chicken was still frozen. The class ended and the chicken was still frozen. The class ended and I was still frozen. And everyone except me left the room. I sat in my chair feeling catatonic with tears streaming down my face. I was devastated that the professor had just zapped the chicken into a catatonic state. And I was also upset that the professor just left the chicken there frozen on the marble slab and left the room.

I started to ask myself what was going to happen to the chicken now? Was a janitor going to come along and just scoop him into the garbage? That did not feel right or fair. I began thinking about what it would take to bring the chicken back to life after the experiment. And this question became a key teaching point as I started giving workshops and keynote presentations around the country after my first book, LIVING WITH VISION: RECLAIMING THE POWER OF THE HEART was published.

Some of the answers people responded with included: take the electrode off of the chicken, put the chicken into a safe environment, perhaps with other chickens, zap the professor, and perhaps most commonly, hold the chicken. After the traumatic experience with the electrode, respectful, present compassionate touch was probably needed to let the chicken know that he was safe in the moment, and that the human present with him now was there to help and protect him. Likely the chicken would be pretty frightened of humans after his encounter with the professor!

Watching for non-verbal cues would also be important. If the chicken started to slightly blink his eye, or shake a little bit or make any kind of physical movement, it might be a sign of slightly unfreezing. It would certainly be a message from the chicken's body that deserved respectful witnessing, presence and emotional contact. One would need to be very very patient with the chicken. Establishing trust or starting to unfreeze would take time over time. And caring for the chicken's basic needs, including warmth, food and water, and comfort would be important should the chicken start to unfreeze.

As I looked at my own response to the experiment I realized that many of us feel like catatonic chickens internally, even if some part of us is walking around, working and conducting life as usual. And that the kind of attention and care needed to help the chicken was the very same kind of attention and care needed to help people who have experience trauma unfreeze and come back to life.

Unfortunately, we are more often to be educated to think like the professor, who used the unwitting chicken as an object for his scientific demonstration, with little attention to or care for the impact of his experiment on the chicken's well-being. And once something really traumatic happens, we often don't see what has happened at the levels that really matter, much like the professor. So, people who have been traumatized are left frozen--especially emotionally frozen and spiritually frozen, since emotional and spiritual well-being often miss our day to day radar.

Developing more awareness of emotional and spiritual experience would bring us a long way in recognizing the often too invisible impact of our actions. And this awareness is a necessary foundation for cultivating compassion and heartfelt presence.

We need to become more emotionally embodied and grow our compassionate presence both to prevent people from being traumatized into the "catatonic chicken" state, and to help those who have been traumatized in this way to come back to life.

Vision: The Fuel for Motivation

"When the soul wishes to experience something she throws an image of the experience out before her and enters into her own image." --Meister Eckhardt

When people are feeling lost, aimless or unmotivated, it is often because they lack a vision of what they want, where they want to be or what activities or work will bring them meaning and purpose. Vision can be like a flame of desire: once our passion catches on fire, there is lots of light and fuel for making it real.

How do we build a sense of vision?

A good place to begin is to ask our hearts what we care most about, what really matters and what gives us a sense of meaning, purpose and connectedness. You can do this through closing your eyes, taking a few deep breaths, feeling the physical support of your seat, the floor or whatever is supporting you, and bringing your focus to your heart, noticing where you feel your heart in your body. Placing your hand on your heart helps bring your focus to your heart. And once you have brought your focus to your heart ask yourself the following questions:

1. If I could create my life the way I really wanted, what would my life be like?

What would I be doing?

Who would I be spending my time with?

Where would I be spending my time?

What would be different than the way things are right now?

2. What brings me the greatest joy and fulfillment?

What kinds of activities can I do that bring me joy and fulfillment?

Are there any activities that are particularly joyful and fulfilling that I really want to do now and in the near future?

Of the activities that bring me joy, which ones would I want to spend focused time doing?

3. What activities feel most purposeful and meaningful?

Of these activities, which ones do I feel most drawing to pursuing right now?

If I were to be pursuing these activities, what would be I doing? where would I be doing them? who would I be spending my time with? What would be different than the way my life is right now?

By meditating on these questions, and writing down thoughts and ideas that arise upon meditating, you can begin to develop a sense of vision that feels connected, meaningful and motivating.

Rather than expecting to get everything complete and clear in one meditation, make it a practice regularly (once a week, at the beginning of the day, at the end of the day…)and note your insights and thoughts each time you meditate. And look for themes and patterns that arise as you continue to meditate on these questions over time. Once you've identified themes and patterns, that will give you the direction you need to put together an action plan, detailing goals, and specific steps you need to take to reach each goal, and first steps you can take today or tomorrow to move towards your goals.

Once you have an action plan, it is good to review how things are going regularly--be it daily or weekly, or at whatever frequency feels right to you. The clearer your vision, the easier it is to take meaningful action steps towards your vision. And if resistances arise, taking time to do a heart meditation being with the resistance, and seeing what it needs, can help you mine the lessons in your resistance rather than being frozen by resistance.

As you make a practice of tuning in to your heart, and building a heartfelt sense of vision, you may find more energy, clarity and direction to help you both identify clear goals, and take meaningful steps towards them.

Force of Nature

"She breezes in, emotional genie. You can't keep her in a bottle. She'll touch your soul, even when you're sleeping. And when you're awake, just let her in. She's a force of nature. She's a keeper of the heart. She's a lighthouse for the weary. But this world is tearing her apart."

--From "Force of Nature" by Linda Marks

I know I have a lot of energy,whether you call it passion or joie d'vivre. And I am grateful I have ways to direct it positively to make a difference in the world--be it working with individuals, couples or groups as a mind-body psychotherapist, or as a singer or leader or organizer or human being walking the face of the planet. When I was a kid, people often told me I was "intense." I couldn't tell if that was an insult or a compliment.

When the speaker seemed scared or intimidated by me, then I felt it was more of a distancing comment or way to "other" me, separating me from other people. And that never felt very good. In my adult years, the word "intense" has been replaced by another term, "force of nature." Once again, it has been a mixed term, maybe an insult from some and a compliment from others.

I have done a lot of introspective reflection on both of these terms, "intense" and "force of nature." Who likes to feel different, distanced or "othered?" Yet, if I tried to focus more on the energy and life force both terms embody, I have felt more peace and less alone. When a light is very bright, we say it is "intense." Could it be that the light of my heart and spirit are just very bright, and people react to that kind of intensity?

And forces of nature have a profound, often undying directed power. Might I have the capacity to direct my life energy and my heart's power in a way that has a profound impact, often positive? When I turn to nature for my images and understanding, they are often more compassionate and complete than when I look at people's reactions in the context of what is familiar in our human world.

Is the sun not a force of nature or the rain? And aren't sunlight and water necessary to sustain life? Is the wind not a force of nature? And doesn't a sail boat rely on this force to move about the water?

If my intensity enlightens, me and others, and sheds needed light on the subject, especially when I or anyone I care about is moving through the dark, might that not be a gift rather than a curse? Being emotionally embodied, deeply reflective and introspective and actively engaged in projects out in the world, may actually all be good things. And if others feel their boats get rocked by my presence, might it be a gentle wave that keeps things flowing, rather than a scary hurricane?

Might we all not benefit from connecting with the light we are capable of shining in the dark corners of the world? And might our lives not flow better and more fluidly if we can find the part of us that is connected to the natural world and its rhythms? Maybe being a force of nature isn't so bad after all.

Being A Force of Nature

I am grateful that since childhood I have been given the gifts of clarity, groundedness, and the ability to take vision and make it real through action. I have myself in positions of leadership again and again even without intending to land there or trying. Even as an 8th grader, I ended up elected to serve as the class president, despite or perhaps because instead of reading a canned campaign speech, I sat on the edge of the stage and spoke from my heart to everyone in the audience. I have been called "the engine" in numerous groups perhaps for my ability to sustain a strong focus, both for myself and the group or organization, and to find ways to integrate and direct the skills and talents of others in the group towards a common vision over time. Most recently, I have found myself repeatedly called "a force of nature." That term has at times been a compliment but at other times a less than endearing phrase. When another human being marvels at what I can create and sustain from a respectful place, that can be touching. However, when the implication is that another person is scared of me because my power and passion are so strong they fear being swept under by my wave, that saddens and isolates me. When I think of forces of nature, I think of hurricanes, tidal waves, earthquakes and the like. Each one is very powerful. Each one can be transformative to the landscape it touches. Each one can be dangerous and scary. And in most cases, we need to step away and protect ourselves when one is on the horizon. Might there be gentler and more connective images to evoke? Is the gentle light of the sun a force of nature? Is the soft sand that can caress your feet as you walk on the beach a force of nature? Are the stars in the sky and the beautiful formations they form a force of nature too? Can a force of nature work with you and for you, rather than against you? If each of us connect with our hearts, and live from that place, do we become benevolent forces for good in this world? If we treat one another with kindness and respect every day, do we transform the world for the good with our love? Can being a force of nature be a symbol of the good that is possible in this world when we embrace our power, rather than a source of fear or not good enoughness when we compare ourselves to others who are more embodied and empowered? Might forces of nature join as partners with our forces of nature and work together for the common good? Being a force unite is a whole lot more pleasurable than being a force operating all alone on the skinny branches of life. Might there not be a whole lot more wind underneath our wings if we use our heart power to help one another fly? What if forces like care and kindness helped us feel safer and be more real with one another, rather than batting down the hatches to defend ourselves from something that might touch us in places we have locked away? I would rather be a force of nature than some marketer's creation in a chemistry lab. What if we all find ways to be the natural forces we are capable of being and joining together to create a healthier happier world? That is a landscape I can exhale in!

Altruism Is Good For YOU

Gordon Gecko may have said "greed is good," but from a physiological and well-being perspective, altruism is better. The Institute of HeartMath reports that "when we act in other people's behalf, we feel better, more secure and experience less stress."

When we are helping others from a place of care, compassion and pure intent, both our brain and heart produce oxytocin, the love or bonding hormone. Heart cells as well as brain cells produce "feel good chemicals"including dopamine and endorphins. Only genuine intent creates this hormonal benefit.

An article on altruism prepared by the Institute of HeartMath cites research that shows:

* altruistic people are healthier and live longer
* older people who are helpful to others reduce their risk of dying by nearly 60% compared to peers who provide neither practical help nor emotional support to relatives, neighbors or friends
* altruism promotes enhanced meaning and purpose, and the presence of positive emotions such as kindness that displaces harmful negative emotional states

When we can shift our focus to what we have to give, instead of what we have to get or take, what follows actually helps US. Is it paradoxical that in giving, we receive more than if we had only focused on our selfish self-interest? Perhaps this shows the difference in scope between the ego and the heart. Because the heart operates from a place of connection and interconnectedness, it understands the flow of life. When we operate from ego, fear or scarcity, we can disconnect from this very flow.

Hearts know how to balance self-care and care for others. When we use our intellects with the balancing perspective of the heart, we can operate from a sense of duty or obligation, when can lack pure heartfelt intent. Using our heart's wisdom and guidance is key to keep ourselves in the circulating flow of giving and receiving, rather than burning out from giving in a disconnected state.

Moving Beyond Hurt and Anger: Programming Oneself to Vibrate Healing and Love--Coaching Tips

The client who asked me how to program herself to vibrate healing and love asked me for some coaching tips.

Here are some I thought to provide:

1. Honor the ways you are angry, what you are angry about, and go deeper to the root of your anger. What are ways you might feel hurt, invisible, or treated unfairly. See what you really need deep down inside and honor that. By both honoring your anger and the deeper roots underneath, you start honoring yourself and vibrating love to yourself.

2. Notice, attend to and honor the sensations you feel in your body. By noticing them, presencing them and attending to them, you bring more self-love to yourself and nurture your heart. If you are hurt, you are literally hearing your heart at a heart level.

3. Focus on the vision of what you really want to create. Write it down. Draw it. Feel how you feel in your body when you think about and envision what you really want. Make a vision journal. Keep notes and read them daily. Review them weekly. Tune them monthly.

4. Make a list of people and places you'd like to vibrate love to. Vibrate love to them consciously and regularly.

5. When you hit obstacles, don't lose the vision. Honor the obstacles. Honor your feelings. Learn the lessons. And keep vibrating love towards the vision.

6. Get support whenever and wherever you need it. You don't have to do it all alone. And getting support is part of self-love.

7. When people do mean, thoughtless things, try not to take it personally, even if it impacts you personally. When people are not fully grounded, they operate in all kinds of ways that aren't right/don't work. Keep your vision on what is right, just and fair.